Hey everyone - I had a creative night... wrote down a bunch of lyrics. Now here's the thing, I always write, then read them after and think they're stupid and delete them. And to be honest, I don't have anyone I can show these to and get honest critique. So for your consideration, I'm attaching three songs that I wrote last night. Please give me honest critique -if you don't like them, [i:ae31422cf1]please[/i:ae31422cf1] say so.
Snow in my hair Vomit on the road It�s 5 am And nobody goes Down the street where I�m walking At this time of morning Abandoned gas stations And snowplows give warning
And the ice plays tricks on your mind When you think you�re being followed but really you find That it�s just a batty old lady Or an old shopping cart When you reach your destination How will you start
A broken snowman A crumbling fort I walked the grueling distance From south to north and the Man at the corner fixes me with a glare there�s no one here to see and there�s no one to care
And the ice plays tricks on your mind When you think you�re being followed but really you find That it�s a leering old man Who�d like to grab for your cash If you reach your destination You�d better do it fast
An empty sidewalk A hospital wing To gain my courage I�ll soon start to sing, �bout the Times that I'm brave But it�s small consolation and it�s Time to go home For some head restoration
And the ice plays tricks on your mind When you think you�re being followed but really you find That it�s just your own shadow Or your demons within When you reach your destination Who�ll let you in?
-------------------------------------
[b:ae31422cf1]Dr. Hippocrates[/b:ae31422cf1]
She comes at midnight and she�s bringing a ghost She says �I�m sorry, I�m late, and you�re my only hope- You see, I find myself at the end of my rope� I say I�m sorry but I think you�re mistaken
She said �I went for a swim in a bottle of gin So when he asked me to come, well I was already in I need your help to put the pieces back together again� I ask her why she spent so very long waiting
She pleads: �Dr. Hippocrates- Take away the poison that�s been building in me Take away the pain that I feel Fix me, baby, and I�ll show you what�s real
She says �I�m drowning in blood and in bile And I hate the way you look when I can�t see your smile Fifteen months I�ve walked a crooked mile� I say I don�t know what I can do here
She looks at me with those pleading eyes She says �I would have come sooner but I tried to disguise� She says �I�m so very sorry, that I�ve been unwise� I say that I�m fresh out of good humour
She pleads: �Dr. Hippocrates- Take away the poison that�s been building in me Take away the pain that I feel Fix me, baby, and I�ll show you what�s real
[i:ae31422cf1](instrumental one verse)[/i:ae31422cf1]
She says: �I know those eyes and I know that face I know because I�m in the exact same place. To err is a trademark of the human race Throw down your weapons, surrender��
I tell her: �I�m no Hippocrates The word you�re looking for is hypocrisy I can�t take away the pain that you�ve felt How can I fix you when I�m broken myself?�
"No, I�m no Hippocrates The word you�re looking for is hypocrisy I can�t take away the pain that you�ve felt How can I fix you when I�m broken myself?�
She comes at midnight and she�s bringing a ghost She says �I�m sorry, I�m late, and you�re my only hope- You see, I find myself at the end of my rope� I say I�m sorry but I think you�re mistaken
-------------------------------------
[b:ae31422cf1]Fly on the Wall[/b:ae31422cf1]
It started with a kiss On her soft, sweet lips A drunken little tryst Wrapped in energy and bliss And moving from there now His hand�s in her hair now They�re gasping for air now Oh what a pair
Oh to be A fly on that wall To sit there in silence To take in it all I wish I�d been there I wish I had seen Was it amazing As you thought it would be?
Tear off the covers And tear off the clothes Two naked lovers In an age old pose Connected at the lips His hand below her hips She�s losing her grip And she delightfully slips
Oh to be A fly on that wall To sit there in silence To take in it all I wish I�d been there I wish I had seen Was it amazing As you thought it would be?
Catching their breath Their sheets soaked with sweat Did she light a cigarette Did he kiss her soft neck And did she get up to go Or could she never say no I�d ask it although I don�t really want to know
Oh to be A fly on that wall To sit there in silence To take in it all I wish I�d been there I wish I had seen Was it amazing As you thought it would be?
Regarding she Did she speak of another Did he know about me Her actual lover Did she tell him my name Before or after she came What was her aim I�m not playing this game
Oh to be A fly on that wall To sit there in silence To take in it all I wish I�d been there To see with my eyes It�s better than hiding It�s better than lies
Oh if only I was A fly on that wall To sit there in silence To take in it all Then I�d have known sooner That truth can be cruel But I�d know that it happened And I wouldn�t have been played for a fool