Oh! Biking? Awesome! How was it?

It was long and difficult but I'm glad I did it. The scenery was amazing! When I get home I'll post the link of the pictures I took. And to top it all off, I just got tickets to the Metric show in October..hoorah!

I started a journal scrapbook, heeee it's fun.

[quote:880b863bf8="BoyWonder"]It was long and difficult but I'm glad I did it. The scenery was amazing! When I get home I'll post the link of the pictures I took. And to top it all off, I just got tickets to the Metric show in October..hoorah![/quote:880b863bf8]

Congrats Joel...looking forward to the pics.


...jim

Well... high school tomorrow. Yuck! Mum's laid down the laws of grade 10.

Rule 1: No more than 2 drinks
Rule 2: Don't stay out all night without calling
Rule 3: Don't get in a car with a drunk person
Rule 4: No hard drugs ("No powder, no pills" is what she said)


There aren't many, but the punishments are harsh. They're easy to follow. I don't know what to think about high school, though.

no more than two drinks??? as in [i:965636bae4]alcoholic [/i:965636bae4]drinks? how old are you rachel? aren't you like, 15???? and no "hard drugs"? so it's alright if you do "softer" ones? ecstacy is okay? toking up is fine? sorry, this post may be really out of line, but i'm a bit stunned.

Oh, no, it's cool. Not out of line at all. No, ex isn't okay. As for toking up, I don't think that's the [i:4c7ff652dc]best[/i:4c7ff652dc] idea whe I'm [i:4c7ff652dc]15[/i:4c7ff652dc], but they understand that kids are going to experiment with drugs and drinking and things like that. And yes, no more than two alcoholic drinks. The parents aren't strict with me, really. I'm a smart, responsible kid, and they know that. They trust me. I haven't given them a reason not to. To be honest, the rule is this: Be a teenager, but don't be stupid. :P

i've got tickets for the two Pearl Jam shows here in St. John's on the 24th and 25th.

i'm way stoked.
they've been one of my favourite bands for about ten (how appropriate) years, and i finally get to see them twice in one of the cities i never thought they'd ever play......

^ ^
I can totally see Rachel's situation. I think it's awesome that her parents are doing what most parents don't: recognizing the realities that 15 year-olds face and dealing with it appropriately. And as for e, it usually comes in 'pill' form so I think that would fall under teh "no powder, no pills" rule


I am so tired, but I'm not in bed. Why is that?

first of all rachel, i'm not singling out your parents in the post below. this is about a lot of today's adults in general. (and i'm not questioning the fact that you're probably a very responsible kid.)

i've gotta vent here. i can't say how much it bothers me when people say things like "[i:de2e3ca645]well, kids are gonna try drugs... kids are gonna drink...[/i:de2e3ca645]" why??? why is that a given? my sister and i were both pretty average teenagers. we had kool friends and weren't geeks by any means, but we never drank, never smoked, never did drugs. i just wasn't raised to believe that it was ever okay. i didn't hang around with people who did those things either, but we had more fun than i can remember. just hanging out together, listening to music, going out to movies & dinners together, having philosophical conversations, writing stuff together... getting drunk or smoking up honestly [i:de2e3ca645]never[/i:de2e3ca645] even crossed our minds. when i was around other groups and they offered me something, i just said i wasn't interested. why do parents assume that their kids will operate at the lowest common denominator??? "being a teenager" automatically doing these things. their are plenty of awesome teenagers who don't. but now it's almost like "well my parents figure i'm going to, so why not?" it's truly insulting to them that we don't demand and expect more.

some may think i'm not a realist, or are coming off as self-righteous, but that's not the case at all. it just really bugs me that so many adults today approaching parenting with a semi-defeatist attitude. they don't even expect their kids to hold themselves to a higher standard than what may be going on around them; they just throw their hands up and say "well they're gonna do it anyway..." my parents NEVER said that. they never thought for a moment that what they had raised me wouldn't hold outside of the house, first and foremost because they had instilled in me so much self-respect that doing things that were to my detriment was of no interest to me. and if i [i:de2e3ca645]had[/i:de2e3ca645] made the decision to go another way, it definitely wouldn't have been with their implied consent. i would have had to deal with both letting them down and my own disappointment with myself.

the problem is that so many parents want to appear kool that they start erasing limits that it's their role to enforce. i just can't wrap my head around anyone telling a child four years below the legal drinking age that two drinks are alright. a 15-year old liver and bloodstream shouldn't even be processing alcohol; a 15-year old girl's body is still in development! but that's alright, let's throw some beer and vodka into it! could i ever live with myself if my kid had two drinks that he or she couldn't handle, and something tragic or traumatic happened as a result? and why in the world would you give tacit approval for a child to break the law in this way? also, if two drinks is the limit at 15, what is it at 18? no more than six??? the same goes for the pot. that really blows my mind. i'm actually very, very disturbed. and parents wonder why so many kids continue to live [i:de2e3ca645]down[/i:de2e3ca645] to their expectations. anyway, i know that this post may make people angry, but it was just going to fester on my chest if i didn't say something. sorry if i've offended anyone.

I believe that the approach this is using is the same one used by safe-sex advocates. While many people may believe it's not okay to have pre-marital sex, therefore we shouldn't teach sex education in high schools, the fact is that people are doing it, they're doing it young, and if they aren't given reasonable limits and education, they'll do it dangerously. What parents in this situation are doing is the same -- setting reasonable limits that their children can live within. If they're smart, they'll know not to do things that are harmful to themselves, like drink excessively, in the first place.

I think my personal biggest pet peeve is that people believe that at 15, parents should rule the lives of their children. Perhaps it's just that I'm still young (22), but I think that people in their mid-teens are mature enough and old enough to start making their own decisions and living their lives (and learning for their mistakes -- obviously intervention is necessary if it's clear they aren't learning from their mistakes, but I have faith that most people will). The longer they are forced not to do things, or to do things a certain way, the more rebellious and destructive they will be when finally free of their parents' watchful eye (take, for example, the drunken lunacy known as frosh week on university campusses around the continent). I'm not a child psychologist, so perhaps Is houldn't speak... I just don't believe in overprotecting teens -- I was overprotected for most of my life and as a result my relationship with my parents today is almost non-existant.

i do NOT believe in overprotecting your child. i believe in protecting your child.

i believe in taking the role of parent for the monumental responsibility that it is. i believe that a parent MUST take the lead, telling a young girl or boy (and people can argue whether a 15-year old is a young girl or boy all they want) that it's okay for them to have two beers is highly irresponsible, in my opinion. of course sex education should be taught in school. there is a big difference, however, between teaching kids about sex and contraception and saying to a kid in their [i:b1304a7c62]first [/i:b1304a7c62]year of highschool "okay, so make sure you use condoms!" as if your child having sex is a foregone conclusion. it isn't.

anyway, this topic is extremely upsetting to me because the more i hear about how this approach to parenting is the right one, the more dumbstruck i become. setting firm limits in no way means that there can't be open communication between parent and child, discussions as to the reasons behind those limits, and a feeling in the child that he/she can always come to their parents when peer pressure or their own curiosity makes it challenging to stay within those limits.

will the kids mess up sometimes? of course they will and you continue to love them. but if a kid in grade 10 is so "mature", then he/she needs to understand that if they choose to drink/do drugs/have sex, etc., that it's [i:b1304a7c62]they [/i:b1304a7c62] who have chosen the behaviour and its consequences, not that mom & dad have given it the thumbs up. no one is going to convince me that consuming liquor and weed is in the best interest of a 15-year old, and [i:b1304a7c62]the fact is that giving your children permission in engage in things that are not in their best interest, simply because "they might anyway" is negligent, period[/i:b1304a7c62]. you can be a very kool parent and still be very firm in your commitment to holding your kid to a certain code of conduct. the two aren't mutually exclusive.

A) Chuckles, you're a heart-breaker. Major jealousy.

B) Both siren and Sweet One make a good point. I guess it's just that they all know that I know better. Both my parents know that I have zero interest in getting shit-faced, but they also know that I might have a drink at a social event or something. There is also the fact that if I were to break any of these rules, the penalty would be agonizing. They both want me to graduate with a halo, but they have been really good about accepting the fact that that's just not going to happen. They're both pretty open minded, which is really good when you're a parent. From a teenagers stand-point, anyway. And honestly, I don't think that they would have even told me the rules unless I had asked, because they know that I know better.

Rachel, I'm sorry if it seemed as though I was attacking your folks personally - I wasn't. Your post was simply the catalyst for me to express feelings that I've had on this issue for a long time. I'm sure that you are a very together girl and that you're parents know that. I guess we just have to agree to disagree; 'cuz I would never just assume that my 15-year old daughter would "have a drink" at a social event. Contrary to what many may think, there still [i:d40eb6e49f]are[/i:d40eb6e49f] kids out there who are perfectly happy with a few cans of Coke.

Anyway, I'm glad that you seem to have a firm sense of who you are and your head on straight. While it seems that these days most teenagers think it's kool to get smashed or high or whatever, there is [i:d40eb6e49f]nothing[/i:d40eb6e49f] kooler than having the backbone to be a non-conformist and put your own health, safety, and emotional wellbeing first. I just wish that a lot of parents would realize that teaching their kids this is the best gift they could ever give them.

Best of luck to you in high school. I'm sure you'll do great.

[quote:a69d530c79="joleary"][quote:a69d530c79="BoyWonder"]It was long and difficult but I'm glad I did it. The scenery was amazing! When I get home I'll post the link of the pictures I took. And to top it all off, I just got tickets to the Metric show in October..hoorah![/quote:a69d530c79]

Congrats Joel...looking forward to the pics.


...jim[/quote:a69d530c79]

just for those interested, I posted some of the pictures from my bike trip on Flickr. Enjoy

http://www.flickr.com/photos/61655761@N00/sets/906146/

Great pics Joel. Some awesome scenery on those back trails. Oddly enough, I live about 50 metres from the Trans-Canada pavilion here in Uxbridge. I'll head west and meet you half-way, say in Winnipeg? :wink:

How far was the trip? and over how many days?

...jim

Congratulations on completing your trip man.
Some really cool pictures you got there.

[quote:5ce34244f0="joleary"] I'll head west and meet you half-way, say in Winnipeg? :wink:


[/quote:5ce34244f0]

YOu missed the Folk Festival by a month or so

[quote:b12925b2d7="joleary"]Great pics Joel. Some awesome scenery on those back trails. Oddly enough, I live about 50 metres from the Trans-Canada pavilion here in Uxbridge. I'll head west and meet you half-way, say in Winnipeg? :wink:

How far was the trip? and over how many days?

...jim[/quote:b12925b2d7]

it was over 6 days and it was about 400-500km, I didn't really keep detailed records of the kms...

when your high school teacher looked like s/he was impossibly really enjoying those long boring movies... s/he was really just revelling in the subtle torture s/he was putting you through.

:twisted:

~nicole g

PS(somewhat unrelated... I dont think I have laughed so much in the past month as I did today... mwahaha...)